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Friday, April 3, 2009

..."Hmmm" she said, responding while sipping Shazamm....

"Since I must now focus my considerable energies on becoming a legally required whore", she said, gently, twirling the pen held delicately in her grasp, having laid aside the hated gun, "I will kindly advise you of what my gentle response will entail, my darling...."

He stepped back, warily, having puffed his importance in her direction, feeling both emasculated and angry with himself, before this latest international temper tantrum.

"Firstly, this: since you have obviously confused God with politics, and love with your own inability to control yourself, and, instead, vent it on me, I will require daily transportation, at this particular time, to my place of worship, and back home, that I might cleanse myself in the sight of God, having been vilified and mistreated in the name of politics, and power - not love, nor concern of any kind."

He shifted, awkwardly.

"The religious leader has agreed that not doing so means you are clearly lazy, and concerned with other priorities, so if I do not attend, as I have stated, you will be required to pay a sum of my choosing - like the whore that I have been forced to become - at your whim, as a result of your uncontrolled rage."

He looked at her, saying nothing, aware that she was deeply angered, finally, at this show of such deep disregard for her sex, and the sacredness of what he had said he held in very high esteem: their respect for each other - which did not involve the violence they both had sworn not to show as an example to their children, to each other - especially not in the bedroom.

"Secondly, since I am required by law to make this my duty, I am NOT required to do any of the other things that you receive for free: cooking, cleaning, laundry, medical care, speaking, listening to your problems, preparing your schedule, answering your phone calls, decoratingyour home with my artistic ability, creating things of beauty, to make your world a more beautiful, and possible, place of joy; translating things you do not understand - since I am the only one with time to read, although I had to figure most of it out myself, due to not having access to education; giving you my opinion about anything; working at anything that shows you I respect your ability to support us, financially, by lessening this burden, and helping you, because I know you to be a man not ruled by ego, or the drug trade which is destroying the world - not just your hated enemies, this week, and their offspring - and because I do care if you do drop dead of a heart attack too soon, because of overwork.

I must, needs be, seek instruction on this new duty; therefore, I will require that you bring in professionals in this trade, that I might learn these skills from them, by classroom environments which will ensure your great happiness, and my desired subservience; additionally, I will, as mentioned above, no longer be able to spend any time doing the aforementioned things; thus the fee involved for professional instruction, and the new help you will need to hire, might add some pressure, and cause you to be away, at work, in order to pay for it. You will have to also call in take out, since no one will be available any longer to pack your several lunches, bathe your many new children - or school them, since they, too, can't go outside, for fear of being attacked with acid by a human animal masquerading as a human being, rather than a gentle adult pleased with childhood innocence and God given beauty, - and since you're the only one allowed to take anyone anywhere. I imagine your new duty as increasingly busy driver will add length, again, to your working day, as well as additional expense, for which I feel for you, deeply, but, again, you are directly responsible, sadly, in terms of logic, work sharing, and the need for power and control.

Since I think we will probably not be able to afford professional assistance of this kind, at the very least, I will have to carefully study the satellite t.v., mostly all day, in my pyjamas, in order to become a good, obedient whore, although it makes me sad to think about how dirty our house is going to get, frankly. Hopefully, you won't invite anyone over for dinner, as there will be no one to cook it, since I will be far too busy, dear."

He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt very restricted.

"Or", she said, "I could just take all of the credit cards, and go on holiday for three months, until you come to your senses, darling. Either way, this new law might prove very, very expensive...."
she sighed. "Plus, I will miss out on my charity work,which is something that causes me great distress." He hung his head.

"I must admit, since I know you to be such a wise and good man - which is why, of course, I married you, knowing you loved me, - that I thought you liked the fact that I was clever, much more than having to wait, occasionally, for something...." she mused to herself, quietly.

"Such a patient man". She smiled up at him. "It made my not being allowed, or able, to become a doctor, so irrelevant - although the rest of the world might miss my absence, in this capacity, since we seem to, as a species, need so very much healing, lately. Perhaps it's just a spelling error on your part then, my darling? Healing, I mean?"

She stared straight at him, her eyes narrowed dangerously. He suddenly realized that she was very, very angry.

"One more thing, my darling." She purred the words. "Since creativity in exchange might be required, in terms of method, in the midst of our expressed need, which you feel you must seek in a court of law, instead of having the guts to ask me to my face - I cannot be assured of the ferocity of my appetite." His eyes widened in shock. "The damage might very well be permanent, within the contex of consumption, and how tired you will aways be, with this new, forced focus of my inner strength and drawn upon energy, rechanneled, however wasted."

His eyes widened at the cannabalistic reference drawn from a far less advanced time in their tribal history.

Recognizing, at last, again, why he respected her so deeply, since she stood, quietly, toe to toe with him, waiting, unblinkingly, for him to raise his hand to her, without flinching, and ready to raise her own, to block it - and connect, in turn, if necessary, to deflect it - he bowed deeply, grasped her right hand in both of his, kissed it, whirled out of the room, and entered the room of screaming, ridiculous male politicians with renewed sanity of purpose, thinking his wife was the most beautiful creature in the world. His twelve hour work day, lunch bag in hand, was a mere blink. He smiled at how she had winked at him, slyly, before patting him on the bottom as he had walked out of the door. He could hardly wait to get home.