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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Adventure in Advance Planning: Homemade Halloween

Today's costume ideas:

1. RECYCLE MAN Version 1

Needed: Recycled paper towel and toilet paper holders, for gluing together, painting, and creating both a helmet, shield, and coat of arms, tie-on armour.
Helmet can contain pipe horns, simulating breathing apparatus. Underclothing should be either thrown away machinist overalls, dyed black (or so dirty they smell clean, but will never be stainless). Go for a "down and dirty working man hero" look. Every part of the ensemble must be made of something recycled.

Rolls in front should, if connected properly, be eerily similar to the Abominable Marshmallow Man. (More on this later.)

2. MAN FROM PLAID (Or...the dishevelled overworked FARMER/EXECUTIVE/MAKES THAT TAX PAYMENT, EQUIPMENT RENTAL, AND UTILITY PAYMENT GUY. Can also be MADGE FROM PLAID. RUBBER GLOVES and canvas fishing hat required...or plastic grandma rainhat. (usually under 49 cents, even today, astoundingly....near the "curlers" section....yes; "curlers" can say it! This is when we had to "set" our hair, along with the table, because we had no perm solution that didn't cause us to risk death and poisoning via the scalp...OR a hairdryer. Made will bring smiles. Add an apron for authenticity, as she bolts out the door for work, flinging it on to the bench.....

Needed: Old briefcase, or recycled portfolio. (Value village and Sally ann great for this.)

Needed: EVERYTHING PLAID - including the makeup on your face, which should take, if done properly, about twenty minutes to complete. Make sure the same sort of plaid pattern on shirt and pants (which should really be mismatched, along with either a Santa leather belt, or a piece of rope (for tying up something stray that suddenly runs away), is repeated on your face makeup. This take some doing, and a small kit, available at Value Village, or abandoned lipstick and shoe polish combinations, drawn in coloured squares, separated by black lines, creating the "Plaid on SKIN" look.

We're going for a Bay City Rollers look, here, so different plaid socks - or grey work socks, which look better - and either work boots, or black and white very worn running shoes. If you are going for the executive look, you can branch out into hiking boots, but be careful: all things plaid, please.

If you feel reallyl wild you can go for the "shocked redhead" look, and Pippi Longstocking braids that stick straight up, for girls, but this will take some glue and patience, and you really should get permission before you start sucking your hair into a punk version of Pippi with the vacuum cleaner, after shellacing it with Lepages. We don't want any bald kids in school on Monday - and besides; no one is brave enough for that type of creativity anymore, anyway.....sigh. Oh well. Go for a curly hippy wig (Value Village), or "stiff gel straight in the air" reaction to the hydro bill, instead, if you get scared at the glue idea, or are tempted to smell it. No self immolation or hurtie activity allowed!