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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Nuts Over Glace.

"EWWWWWWW.!" she made a gagging face, as she chewed on the chewing gum. "It squirted! Gross!!! You bought me action gum...! Ach....." She made a gagging noise again.


"I should have eaten the chocolate cashews." She looked sad. He exhaled, laughing slightly.


"What? I thought you liked squirty gum!" He looked at her, cocking his head to one side. "Are you feeling better?"


"No. I feel like ...like....all the scum on the bottom of a body of water, that the bottom feeder fish won't eat, and cough up in their sleep." She glared at him.


"Wow...well.....THAT'S fairly clear." He cleared his throat, appreciatively. He had even had a nauseous second or two...That was real description, at its best.


"I have a choice between "action gum" and "semi comatose Percosindium" - which I reject fully, on both religious and moral grounds, so to speak - and which also makes me projectile vomit. How would YOU feel?" Her eyes squinted into slits. She was making blow whale noises with the squirty part of the gum. It was a very odd sound, and he wasn't sure he didn't like it, confusedly....


"Beside, I'm not sure if I have a latent nut allergy," she glowered. "My brother does, and I'm never too sure, anymore. My luck, I'd eat the damned chocolate, and my stomach would get surprised, all of a sudden - like a defensive force, as it discovered the nut part - and hoist it somewhere else, spontaneously, like on a fishing boat." It was a bad mental image, and one which caused him to cough, respectfully, in response.


She looked at him. His eyes had widened.


"Weeeeelll.......one time I ate what I THINK was a tainted nut batch at Christmas, and they sat in my gut like a bomb, threatening in either exiting direction for what seemed like...oh, Christ....days. It was just nasty. What kind of taunting decision is that supposed to present me with, mister...huh? Mr. Chocolate-nut-tormenter-guy...." She sighed, dejectedly.


He couldn't help it. He burst out laughing.


"I am NOT trying to poison you with chocolate nuts, as punishment for non-performance, following the reoccurence of a back injury." He rasped the words into her hair, trying not to laugh, while catching his breath. He knew she was not feeling well.


"Promise?" She looked up at him. She was very uncomfortable, and just a little worried. There were little flecks of pain in her eyes...



The nuts were rumbling in there, after all; she had succumbed, and eaten a few, before the squirty-gaggy-action-gum-thingy had invaded her mouth - which, until that point, had remained comfortably coated in both wine and chocolate. Now it was a windswept Arctic tundra of Vanilla Mint, and was NOT mixing well with the cashews. She stuck out her tongue, making a gagging noise. At least the obscene squirt-vanilla-action had stopped. No wonder people rebelled against jaw damage.How depressing; it had been like having mini Easter eggs, again, for just a brief moment of complete, wild abandon....


"It had better be worth the fresh new non-tempting clinic kiss", she glowered. "Or I'll be summarily pissed." He blew through his nose, into her ear, swallowing, so he would not laugh.


"And keep that hand where I can see it, mister." He laughed out loud, then, and softly massaged around the base of her spine. She winced, genuinely. He couldn't help it; he moved his mouth beside her ear, and began humming....


"Wee ooo wee ooo ooo wee ooo wee ooo oooh wee o bum ba yay....the lion sleeps tonight" he rumbled, teasing her. She punched him gently in the arm.


"You are HORRIBLE," she said, sadly. He kissed her in the neck, rubbing her back gently.


"Ah, feel better my pie girl", he said, softly, relenting. "I'm sorry you hurt yourself. It'll be spring soon."

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